The "be, do, have" paradigm.
The majority of most of my days is spent pursuing happiness. I seek it out — I don’t wait for it to find me.
I’m currently reading a book called ‘Conversations with God.’ The book speaks of a ‘be, do, have’ paradigm found in society — You must have a certain thing, in order to do a certain action, which will make you be a certain way. The book goes on to say that this is backwards — that in order to do or have something, you must be that way first. This certainly seems in opposition to common sense, but upon further examination, the idea makes perfect sense.
I choose to be happy. I live a very blessed life, and have been ‘lucky’ throughout it — getting into a college, getting a full time job, finding an affordable house — things just seem to fall into my lap. But I’ve created all of these things. I didn’t do well in high school, but I did well on the things that made me happy — tests and puzzles. I’ve always tested well, and did well on the SATs. That’s why I got into a school. I didn’t have a background in computer science, but I’m personable and a quick learner. I’m happy talking to people, and I’m happy learning. That’s how I got my job. I knew I wouldn’t be happy moving home to my parent’s, so I frantically searched for a house that was a good fit, to make me happy. Unquestionably, there has been good luck along the way, but in essence, by being me — by being happy — I’ve created the environment I currently live in, and the mindset I currently have. I am, thus I have and I do.
The most challenging part of being happy is figuring out not only what makes you happy, but also what makes you unhappy. I’ve always approached a dilemma or situation with the question ‘which of these will make me happier?’ A seemingly intuitive question to ask, but one that bears a lot of significance. Happiness, though, isn’t quantifiable. There are a lot of aspects to ‘happy’ — Will it make me happy now? Will I be happy about it later? Will it help to make me happy in the distant future? If neither choice satisfies all of the criteria, then maybe you’ve put yourself in a situation to which there is no happy answer.
Do I want to go to my job? Not really. I do, though, because I know once I’m at my job, I’ll be happy, and I know that I’ll be happy when I get paid. So, for the 8 minute drive that I make every morning, I’m unhappy. But then I get to work, and because of the decision I made to go to work, I’m happy. I’ve created my own happiness by going to work.
Granted, there are times when I have to do things I don’t want to do. But in those cases, to maintain my happiness, I just focus on the benefits of whatever I’m doing. Days where I don’t want to be at work, I can focus on the aspects of my job that make me happy, tell myself that I’ll get paid on Friday, and know that I’ll be done at work in X amount of hours. It all comes back to being happy before you can have or do things that make you happy.
Focus on the positive, and the positive will manifest itself into your life. Be happy, and happiness will find its way to you.